So it was Saturday and me and ned where at the Victory (which has a opening night this Saturday the 28th Feb, so a taxi driver told me) and loving it. I even loved it more when a babe walked by staring at me. I told her to come her and we started chatting. After a bit of a chat i found it she was from cairns and was only 17 with fake i.d. Her friend and ned were talking away seeming to get along which was good, cause now both of us can get lucky. I told her that she should come back to mine and she was a bit hesitant, she then told me oh I'm staying at my friends house we can go there i guess, PERFECT. Her fiend was like yeah we can go back to mine and ten 10 minutes later say "use aren't fucking coming back" and kept changing her mind, this went on for about 30 minutes until they were leaving and we went outside and asked once More if we can go back with them. Her friend convinced her and we were in a cab back to her unit.
We got the unit and the crazy girl was falling up the stairs stumbling over couches and all in the mean time showing big box shots plus she had no undies on. She made her and ned drinks and ned and her went upstairs. As they were upstairs i got it on with my girl and i was giving it 100% effort. I lick her out and rub start rubbing her ass, she tells me not to put anything in and i tell her nah i wont. With my fingers working her clit at 100 km and my tongue sliding up and down her pussy, i move onto her ass hole giving it a good wipe with my tongue moistening it up for my finger. I slip a finger in and she said "wat are u doing" i tell her "nah nah its all good u'll love it" she squirmed trying to pull away but my finger was never going to come out. After about 2 minutes off this, she is quivering and shaking from her monster orgasm (never seen a girl orgasm like this before) i couldn't even touch her for a good 3 minutes. After she settled down she chucked me a condom and i was in and away. About 4 minutes into it ned comes walking down the stairs and says "ill meet u at home" i think wtf and go outside to see him.
ned tells me that the girl showed him her big dildo and then he got her all horny and made out with her then he got inside her pumped away 3 times and she pushed him away balling her eyes out saying "i cant do this to my bf, if he finds out he will bash you" Bash ned? come on, that's not possible. I was in shock when i heard what he just told me and said ill be out soon.
I go back in to finish what i just started. I was about 10 more pumps away till i blew, when the door knocked, hurry up our cab is here. In anger that i didn't get to blow i grab her number and tell her ill call her. We walk out the door and after about 20 metres cops come around the corner asking us where we just came from. They asked if we came from unit 60 (where we just were) and we tell them nah we were visiting a mate at unit 72 and were going home in a cab right now. We ask why's that and they tell us they have had noise complaints. Me and ned walk away laughing. What another fabulous story from the Vic.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Me or Rumjungle
We where at the rum jungle all night and i was fucking blind like always with my stupid cock sucking ex gf. I didn't talk to her at all that night except for when i wanted money for drinks. I got home and we hoped in bed and she tells me" oh now you want to talk to me" my reply came as "i know i didn't talk to u much when we were out, but i just needed my own space" she says alright and i start punching away with my dick at her vagina.
I fall asleep and i wake up to her crying. I ask her what the fuck is wrong. She tells me "i don't know what to do with us. U always seem to not want to hang out with me and we never get OUR TIME" (our time who the fuck do u think i am u fuckhead Ur a piece of shit i am thinking to myself) i tell her we do get our time, we just had our time just before. She said " i just don't want our time to be having sex" i tell her " well fucking hell what the fuck more do u want me to do fuckhead" (or somewhere along those lines, it definitely involved swearing and putting her down that's for sure) She stands up and walks away i ask here where do you think Ur going. she says " its either me or the rum jungle" i tell her "well that's an easy decision" she says "oh really, that's cute, i didnt kno you liked me that much" i tell her "cute how is that cute, i choose the rum jungle you dickhead" She walks out balling her eyes out. What was she thinking, as if she would be able to give me more enjoyment than the rum jungle.
I fall asleep and i wake up to her crying. I ask her what the fuck is wrong. She tells me "i don't know what to do with us. U always seem to not want to hang out with me and we never get OUR TIME" (our time who the fuck do u think i am u fuckhead Ur a piece of shit i am thinking to myself) i tell her we do get our time, we just had our time just before. She said " i just don't want our time to be having sex" i tell her " well fucking hell what the fuck more do u want me to do fuckhead" (or somewhere along those lines, it definitely involved swearing and putting her down that's for sure) She stands up and walks away i ask here where do you think Ur going. she says " its either me or the rum jungle" i tell her "well that's an easy decision" she says "oh really, that's cute, i didnt kno you liked me that much" i tell her "cute how is that cute, i choose the rum jungle you dickhead" She walks out balling her eyes out. What was she thinking, as if she would be able to give me more enjoyment than the rum jungle.
Monday, February 23, 2009
BBQ bonanza
So we were at a Sarah's place, having a nice BBQ and a couple days before we asked her to organize us some girls for the night. She said "there will be girls for use there" We where enjoying a very delicious BBQ and the girl i was going to sleep with was there but ned's girl hadn't arrived yet and we were waiting to remember what she looked like as to only meeting her once before.
The door rang and it was more girls, including Bridget. Which was the one that they had lined up for ned. As soon as ned saw Bridget, his eyes widened and the drink he was drinking got sculled immediately. We had no recollection that she was that big. As the night went along Sarah was lining shots up for Jed telling him that "i am helping you ned" ned had several shots and sculled a whole bowl of punch through a straw and that's not mentioning the carton of jack we were drinking.
At the end of the night we were trying to get Bridget to get with ned but she was being a drunk mess and was laying on the ground crying for some reason. She finally got sorted and we were all of to bed with girls.
In the morning Bridget was gone and ned was asleep in the lounge room and we asked what happened and he got to spilling straight away. He told us that he slammed her every way possible with him elbowing her in the back of the head, choking her ,slapping her being as rough as he can. He even sticks it in her ass with her screaming and her saying "oh fuck me boss fuck me" with him coming to a closure he tells he grabs her head and skull fucks the shit out of her, cumming right down her mouth without warning.
Sarah gives ned one more surprise and tells him "u know that she was a virgin, right?" Jed tells her no way and is in shock and says "well i bet ya she is going to be scared to have sex again cause now she is going to think everyone is as rough as that" all i can say is ned ur a true boss.
The door rang and it was more girls, including Bridget. Which was the one that they had lined up for ned. As soon as ned saw Bridget, his eyes widened and the drink he was drinking got sculled immediately. We had no recollection that she was that big. As the night went along Sarah was lining shots up for Jed telling him that "i am helping you ned" ned had several shots and sculled a whole bowl of punch through a straw and that's not mentioning the carton of jack we were drinking.
At the end of the night we were trying to get Bridget to get with ned but she was being a drunk mess and was laying on the ground crying for some reason. She finally got sorted and we were all of to bed with girls.
In the morning Bridget was gone and ned was asleep in the lounge room and we asked what happened and he got to spilling straight away. He told us that he slammed her every way possible with him elbowing her in the back of the head, choking her ,slapping her being as rough as he can. He even sticks it in her ass with her screaming and her saying "oh fuck me boss fuck me" with him coming to a closure he tells he grabs her head and skull fucks the shit out of her, cumming right down her mouth without warning.
Sarah gives ned one more surprise and tells him "u know that she was a virgin, right?" Jed tells her no way and is in shock and says "well i bet ya she is going to be scared to have sex again cause now she is going to think everyone is as rough as that" all i can say is ned ur a true boss.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Head banger
So yet again its friday night and yet again the fuckhead (nikki) calls me up asking what am i doing tonight. I tell her what i tell her every friday that i'm going to the rumjungle and she throws a little hissy fit saying "stay home for once so we can spend time together" I tell her nah that will be boring and i'll have heaps more fun at the rumjungle with jed instead of sitting at home. She then says "ok ok ill come aswell then" and i try hard not to mke me come but she tells me that she will buy me drinks so i agree.
In the rumjungle i see a babe and i get her a drink and we sit on a couch and start making out. As soon as i finished kissing her i see the fuckhead (nikki) walking straight to me, i tell the girl to come back soon cause my gf is coming over. The random leaves and nikki comes over saying"WTF are u doing hooking up with people" i tell her "i didnt make out with anybody" and she tells me that "i saw u just then hooking up with that girl" i tell nikki " FUCK OFF i did cunt why would i do that for" she says "i dunno but i saw you do it" I stand up and grab her by the hair and tell her "say it once more" she says it again and i go one more i dare you, yet again she says i hooked up with the girl and this time im dead serious. I grab her hair even harder and raise my fist at her and tell her "say it fucking once more and ill punch ur fucking head in" she just looks at me in the eyes and i tell her twice to say i hooked up with that girl. after about 7 seconds of my fist raised and her hair gripped i tell her "ur a piece of shit" and throw her head back against the wall and walk away to try and find the girl i jsut been hooking up with.
In the rumjungle i see a babe and i get her a drink and we sit on a couch and start making out. As soon as i finished kissing her i see the fuckhead (nikki) walking straight to me, i tell the girl to come back soon cause my gf is coming over. The random leaves and nikki comes over saying"WTF are u doing hooking up with people" i tell her "i didnt make out with anybody" and she tells me that "i saw u just then hooking up with that girl" i tell nikki " FUCK OFF i did cunt why would i do that for" she says "i dunno but i saw you do it" I stand up and grab her by the hair and tell her "say it once more" she says it again and i go one more i dare you, yet again she says i hooked up with the girl and this time im dead serious. I grab her hair even harder and raise my fist at her and tell her "say it fucking once more and ill punch ur fucking head in" she just looks at me in the eyes and i tell her twice to say i hooked up with that girl. after about 7 seconds of my fist raised and her hair gripped i tell her "ur a piece of shit" and throw her head back against the wall and walk away to try and find the girl i jsut been hooking up with.
Friday arvo argue
So i was going out with Nikki who was jimmy's gf twin sister, i really dont kno why i was doing it but after a few weeks i figured out that this could work to my advantage. During the 5 months of this "relationship" i always got what i want and treated her like a piece of shit. Some actions even got little physical but there wasnt no hiting involved.
Every friday afternoon she would ring me up and ask me what was i doing. Now for anyone out there this is a easy question. Friday arvo, long hard week at work, keen to start the weekend off in a good way, what else am i going to be fucking doing. I tell her that she isnt allowed to come to out this time cause its a boys night, but really i just wanted to get another girl cause i was sick of her vagina. Which was the worst smelling vagina my dick has been inside out of 35 girls. She gets angry and upset on the phone and says she is coming over for a bit and i tell her she only has 30 minutes. She gets to my house and i dont pa attention to her, which makes her very annoyed. She keeps telling me that she is going to come out and i keep telling her "ur not fucking going, so give up already dickhead" my mum comes in the room and chucks nikki a the house key and i tell her "to give me the fucking key back, i dont want u having anything of mine" i get the key back off of her and i tell her it's time to leave. She once again refuses and this makes me angry. I tell her she better hurry up and leave or im goin to go physcho. She asks if i can walk her out to her car but i tell her no cause it had just been raining and i didnt want to get my feet wet. She slams the door and drives off and i didnt hear from her for a week :D haha
Every friday afternoon she would ring me up and ask me what was i doing. Now for anyone out there this is a easy question. Friday arvo, long hard week at work, keen to start the weekend off in a good way, what else am i going to be fucking doing. I tell her that she isnt allowed to come to out this time cause its a boys night, but really i just wanted to get another girl cause i was sick of her vagina. Which was the worst smelling vagina my dick has been inside out of 35 girls. She gets angry and upset on the phone and says she is coming over for a bit and i tell her she only has 30 minutes. She gets to my house and i dont pa attention to her, which makes her very annoyed. She keeps telling me that she is going to come out and i keep telling her "ur not fucking going, so give up already dickhead" my mum comes in the room and chucks nikki a the house key and i tell her "to give me the fucking key back, i dont want u having anything of mine" i get the key back off of her and i tell her it's time to leave. She once again refuses and this makes me angry. I tell her she better hurry up and leave or im goin to go physcho. She asks if i can walk her out to her car but i tell her no cause it had just been raining and i didnt want to get my feet wet. She slams the door and drives off and i didnt hear from her for a week :D haha
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Fring bar fisting
Friday night and decided to head into the valley for free drinks, cheers to max. Drinking the night away and the beer goggles were definetly on. Next thing i kno this 28 yr old girl comes upto the dude who was sitting at our table with us and i can see her looking at me all thetime. I hear the dude say to her "go talk to him if ur keen then" next thing, she is in myface asking me to buy her drink. Obviously she has no idea who i am, cause i dont buy girlsfucking drinks girls buy me drinks. More drinks get drunk and the more i drink the morei want this slut to get her mouth around my length. She asks all kinds of questions and i start kissing her neck to stop her from talking.
After kissing her neck and gently bitingher ear lobes, she tells me "holy shit, if u can make me feel that good with my clothes oni cant wait to get you with my clothes off" she asks me "do i want to go back to her place" and i cant say no to an offer like that. I told her i have my mate and she says "yeah that'sok he can join in aswell" get to her place in woollongabba and as soon as we get in i grab some beers for me and mitch and we hop onto her bed. She comes into her room with 2 new beersand before our first ones are finsihed she has both our cocks in her hands skiing away.
With 3 fingers inside her i knew i could get more inside her. With me being the dirty animali am, i try to get 4 in and it's a bit of a struggle. Finally 4 in her i just have an urge toget my fist in, so i have my pinky and thumb under my 3 other fingers and in i go. It getsabout halfway and i can feel her pussy ripping but that doesnt fase me. The further i go the more it rips and the more she moans. I finally get my fist in after about a minute and its all the way to my wrist and i start punching away. I tell mitch to have a go at this and we swap ends. We fuck the shit out of her and tristo is done and she wants me to finish her off. I finsh her and myself off and i look down to where she was laying and there was a pool of blood from our fisting antics.
After kissing her neck and gently bitingher ear lobes, she tells me "holy shit, if u can make me feel that good with my clothes oni cant wait to get you with my clothes off" she asks me "do i want to go back to her place" and i cant say no to an offer like that. I told her i have my mate and she says "yeah that'sok he can join in aswell" get to her place in woollongabba and as soon as we get in i grab some beers for me and mitch and we hop onto her bed. She comes into her room with 2 new beersand before our first ones are finsihed she has both our cocks in her hands skiing away.
With 3 fingers inside her i knew i could get more inside her. With me being the dirty animali am, i try to get 4 in and it's a bit of a struggle. Finally 4 in her i just have an urge toget my fist in, so i have my pinky and thumb under my 3 other fingers and in i go. It getsabout halfway and i can feel her pussy ripping but that doesnt fase me. The further i go the more it rips and the more she moans. I finally get my fist in after about a minute and its all the way to my wrist and i start punching away. I tell mitch to have a go at this and we swap ends. We fuck the shit out of her and tristo is done and she wants me to finish her off. I finsh her and myself off and i look down to where she was laying and there was a pool of blood from our fisting antics.
She asks for my nuber and i give her a fake one and while im doing this tristo is in her wallet trying to get money but with out success. She doesnt want us to leave and wants us to stay we tell her "we have to get home quick to get home quick cause we need to get checked for disease after fucking you" she tells us that we are fuckheads and to get out. We tell her no problem we are already on our way. We have to walk back into the valley for a lift home and we laugh about what just happened. Filthy girls are awsome if you have some one to share it with haha
Saturday, February 14, 2009
When it rains it pours
This was my first pay week in about 5 weeks and it had plenty of money to waste so i knew i was getting somthing tonight. Everything in the air just felt so right. So here i was just dancing away when the girl from the last week who i said no to hooking up with cause she was a bit chubby wanted to make out. Drunken status i was in of cause im not going to say no. So away i went playing her tongue better than federer in the wimbeldon cup. After a bit of making out i buy her a drink and take her to our own little private seat out near the front door. With about 10 minutes of lying to her, explaining why i didnt want to hook up last week and why i do now, i convince her to come fuck me in the park.
That day i worked a 5 hour shift of planting plants and my knees were grazed up pretty bad and everything was flooded cause of the rain. I get her in the middle of the park and tell her "to get the fuck down right here" she tells me no "cause there is a puddle there" and i tell her to "stop being a wuss aand get the fuck down" she gets down in the puddle and i flop my cock out and she starts sucking and i rub her clit through her tights. Fair while goes by and im ready to slam it straight up her cunt. Trying to take her tights off she tells me " no no" i then tell her "why the fuck not, what was the point of coming out here then" she tells me that " its the time of the month" and i tell her to "pull the fucking thing out then" after a couple of seconds of convincing, she reaches to her string and throws it away and i slam the rod straight in as if i was goinn for a strike.
Slamming her on top and my knee's where killing, from all the grazes and cuts from work. She gets ontop and rides me decently for the next half hour in the puddle. In that half hour i have 2 groups of people walk by yelling profenity's out to me and police head lights shining straight into her slit of love.
She gets the job done and we walk over to the carpark so i can get a cab home. In the car park the managers are packing up. I walk by the managers and they give me a clap saying " u fucking mad bastard rooting her in the park" i give em a laugh and jump in the cab and on the way home i spew all in the cab just outside my house.
Now thats a good way to start off ur 5 week no pay binge haha
Friday, February 13, 2009
Blood facial
So at this point in time i was going out with my girlfriend Ashleigh who wasn't 18 yet and being a Friday night there was no way I'm missing out on clubbing.
This girl Bec who i got into many times before just absolutely loved me , although i treated her like shit. After being inside for a while and the drinks flowing like a river rapid heading downstream and the girls hornyness rising like flood waters, Bec came up to telling me to take her into the park and fuck her. After bout 5 minutes of saying no i have a girlfriend and that i don't want to do anything and her telling me that she will blow my mind, i finally agree. I sneak a jack outside for the walk across the park and as we get to the playground i pull my pants down and she takes me dick in her mouth, going crazy like a baby breast feeding. couple minutes go past and she is still sucking away and I'm taking a drink and then all of a sudden a flash light is right in my eyes. It was the police telling me to "throw that drink away now" not waiting to get into trouble i tip the drink out and they leave saying "have a good night" As they leave i spread her legs and aim for the pink. As it just goes in I'm having a little trouble with it being so tight, but i push harder and harder " FUCK wasn't that a bad idea" as i pushed harder i felt a rip on my dick as i pulled out she asked"What was i doing" and i didn't tell her anything then stuck it back in there and still couldn't get it in.
This girl Bec who i got into many times before just absolutely loved me , although i treated her like shit. After being inside for a while and the drinks flowing like a river rapid heading downstream and the girls hornyness rising like flood waters, Bec came up to telling me to take her into the park and fuck her. After bout 5 minutes of saying no i have a girlfriend and that i don't want to do anything and her telling me that she will blow my mind, i finally agree. I sneak a jack outside for the walk across the park and as we get to the playground i pull my pants down and she takes me dick in her mouth, going crazy like a baby breast feeding. couple minutes go past and she is still sucking away and I'm taking a drink and then all of a sudden a flash light is right in my eyes. It was the police telling me to "throw that drink away now" not waiting to get into trouble i tip the drink out and they leave saying "have a good night" As they leave i spread her legs and aim for the pink. As it just goes in I'm having a little trouble with it being so tight, but i push harder and harder " FUCK wasn't that a bad idea" as i pushed harder i felt a rip on my dick as i pulled out she asked"What was i doing" and i didn't tell her anything then stuck it back in there and still couldn't get it in.
Getting my back into her mouth she didn't even realise that blood was coming out of it. More than a few times i grab her head and turkey slap her across the face as hard as i can and with every slap i would leave a bit more blood on her face. With not knowing how much blood was on her face i looked at her and in my mind i said"holy fuck" i wiped it off with spit and my hands and as there was no way i was going to blow with my attention giver being in so much pain i tell her that we should go back cause I'm thirsty. Before putting my dick back in my pants i give her one good turkey slap on the side of her face leaving a blood mark on her cheek. We walk back to the front door and with one more last look at her face, the blood mark is still there drying up.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
R.I.P Nathan Charles
Once again prayers go out to the charles family. Nathan passed away in the Victoria bush fires. You can read more about it here http://www.focalpointbmx.com/news/news.htm
R.I.P Jeremy Lusk
All prayers go out to the Lusk family. Jeremy passed away last night at around 11:03pm due to complications of his crash at Costa Rica on saturday. It surely is sad hearing about people passing away in the action sports industry and is So crazy to think that this kind of stuff can happen to anyone anytime.
Thief or just a Prostitute
Thursday night and i had just gotten paid and me and ned didnt have to work the next morning, so we thought what better to spend our night at the Victory. Half price drinks and by the middle of the night we were both druuunk. We were walking outside to go get another drink when this girl infront of me just grabbed me and said "holy fuck ur hot as" i told her that "she was a babe and she should come out for a drink" she followed us out and i bought her a drink and with her being all over me, my mind quickly turned into sex.
We asked how she got there and she told us that she had driven in and as soon as we heard that, both of us knew how we were geting home. After finishing our drinks april wanted to go somewhere else to drink. With both our wallets still filled with money we didnt argue at all. We get to her car and with her hardly even being able to walk across the road and wanting to drive, ned took the keys off of her and jumped in the driver's seat taking control of the situation like the boss he is.
On the drive to the valley we decide to not go to the valley and just head home. After 10 minutes of driving we notice that the fuel gauge is waaaaay under empty and needs fuel immediatly. I chuck $20 in her car and were on our way home and it left me with $307 left in my wallet. After filling up we notice that the fuel gauge didnt move one bit and that the speed'o didnt work either. This made the drink driving just a little bit more harder for ned. Driving past Aspley macca's cops pull out and jed floors it like vin diesel hitting NOS in fast and the furious. After getting away from those police men we come across another police car sitting on the side of the road and once again jed floors it revving out the car.
Made it back to mine nice and safe and with no police following us and it was time for the action to begin. After just wanting to bang her the whole way home i was ready to give her a smashing and a smashing is exactly what i gave her. I remember her telling me not to blow in her at least 5 times and after hearing it so many times i was very tempted to do just that and ruin this girls life, but me being a nice guy i didnt. I went down on her and after a few licks i thought to myself wtf is that taste, so i went back down for a few more and then realised it tasted like fucking garlic really badly, so fuck licking her out and back to machining away. About 20 minutes went by and the next thing i remember was waking up next to her in the night with her hand on my chest. i took one look at her and it made me instantly horny so i started having a bat while she was asleep and as i was about to blow all over her hand she woke up and finished the job for me.
In the morning ned was fast asleep on the mattresse next to my bed and both me and april being horny she jumps on top and i slam her garlic vagina. The noise of my bedhead hitting the wall woke ned up, and ned decided that he would watch without, her knowing.
Mum just made breakfast and i asked if she wanted any and she said "no" so me and ned had a lovely breakfast and when we came back downstairs we noticed that she had left and i said "fuckyeah dont have to show her the way out anymore" 5 minutes go past and im ready to pick up my new bike but i couldnt find my wallet or phone. After about 5 minutes looking and not being able to find them anywhere, my little sister spotted my wallet on the road. I look in my wallet and garlic vagina has taken my phone and $250 out of the wallet, at least the girl was nice enough to leave $57 and my i.d.
Now everytime i bring a new girl home i make sure to put my wallet and phone a place where they can't find it.
We asked how she got there and she told us that she had driven in and as soon as we heard that, both of us knew how we were geting home. After finishing our drinks april wanted to go somewhere else to drink. With both our wallets still filled with money we didnt argue at all. We get to her car and with her hardly even being able to walk across the road and wanting to drive, ned took the keys off of her and jumped in the driver's seat taking control of the situation like the boss he is.
On the drive to the valley we decide to not go to the valley and just head home. After 10 minutes of driving we notice that the fuel gauge is waaaaay under empty and needs fuel immediatly. I chuck $20 in her car and were on our way home and it left me with $307 left in my wallet. After filling up we notice that the fuel gauge didnt move one bit and that the speed'o didnt work either. This made the drink driving just a little bit more harder for ned. Driving past Aspley macca's cops pull out and jed floors it like vin diesel hitting NOS in fast and the furious. After getting away from those police men we come across another police car sitting on the side of the road and once again jed floors it revving out the car.
Made it back to mine nice and safe and with no police following us and it was time for the action to begin. After just wanting to bang her the whole way home i was ready to give her a smashing and a smashing is exactly what i gave her. I remember her telling me not to blow in her at least 5 times and after hearing it so many times i was very tempted to do just that and ruin this girls life, but me being a nice guy i didnt. I went down on her and after a few licks i thought to myself wtf is that taste, so i went back down for a few more and then realised it tasted like fucking garlic really badly, so fuck licking her out and back to machining away. About 20 minutes went by and the next thing i remember was waking up next to her in the night with her hand on my chest. i took one look at her and it made me instantly horny so i started having a bat while she was asleep and as i was about to blow all over her hand she woke up and finished the job for me.
In the morning ned was fast asleep on the mattresse next to my bed and both me and april being horny she jumps on top and i slam her garlic vagina. The noise of my bedhead hitting the wall woke ned up, and ned decided that he would watch without, her knowing.
Mum just made breakfast and i asked if she wanted any and she said "no" so me and ned had a lovely breakfast and when we came back downstairs we noticed that she had left and i said "fuckyeah dont have to show her the way out anymore" 5 minutes go past and im ready to pick up my new bike but i couldnt find my wallet or phone. After about 5 minutes looking and not being able to find them anywhere, my little sister spotted my wallet on the road. I look in my wallet and garlic vagina has taken my phone and $250 out of the wallet, at least the girl was nice enough to leave $57 and my i.d.
Now everytime i bring a new girl home i make sure to put my wallet and phone a place where they can't find it.
Not in my case it isn't
Friday, February 6, 2009
Hang over free alcohol
ASM liquor has come up with a hangover free alcohol with no chemicals, so this means u can drink like crazy and not worry about hangovers.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Moreton Island
jimmy, his gf, my gf at the time, micheal and alister headed off to Moreton Island friday afternoon, with me and jed not wanting to miss out on a night out, we said we will be over Saturday morning. It was off the hook like always and i had a good feeling i was going to thrash some poor girl that night.
Closing time came and i didnt have a girl with me walking out those doors. In my last desperate attempt and with ned gone to the city i stayed around the car park praying like a pedafile in a playground, Looking and searching for the right victim. When i thought it was time to head off home un-succesfully, i saw a girl called nay waiting for a cab. I walked up to her and said "hey, where are u goin now" with her reply being "home" i say "oh i didnt kno i was coming aswell" and she replys to me with a "okay then jump in" i was STOKED not to be going home to do work on myself. I get back to her house and we do the deed. In the morning she drops me back at home.
So i get home and me and ned are ready to go catch our barge for our wonderful weekend at Moreton Island. We arrive over there in the arvo and with everyone sinking piss like its water and my gf at the time being a fuckhead like always, i dont pay much attention to her the whole time.
Night fall comes and were on the beach drinking around the fire and then the girls are whinging and complaining, so them and moses decide to go back to the cabin for a boring night in. With the girls gone, its really time to step up the drinking. Us boys are begining to get loose when i spot somthing stumbling along the waters edge. Driving past it to see wat it was. It was a lady, a lady in her mid 20's druuuunk as can be (PERFECT) we go see if shes all right and we tell her to jump in and join the fun were having, we hand over a drink to get her more smashed.
Were back at the fire and out of nowhere she tells us that we are boring. Boring u say were nothing but boring we tell her. With us saying lets get naked she then says alright and strips off to nothing but her undies, us boys all strip off and the fun begins with her giving us all our own personal lap dance.
After about 10 minutes of lap dances she runs off to the water for a bit of a dip, with me and Alister following her. Jimmy and ned are back at the fire and the mad cunts hide her clothes. We all decide its time for a drive and we get dressed and with her complaining she cant find her clothes we give her a shirt to wear. We're all in the car and i ask jed we're her clothes? He tells me that jimmy chucked them on the fire. The second i look at the fire the flames triple in size.
On our drive around the Island she tries to get with everybody and with her taking most liking to Alister, we drop them off and tell him we will be back in 5 minutes. 2 minutes later and we have high beams on them in the middle of the beach. With alisters cock being the size of 2 normal peoples and sand on her vagina there was no way he was getting in. In the car and we're once again driving along with her grabbing Jimmy's, mine and ned's hands rubbing them against her hairy smelly pussy. The hair was worst than cheezy's gut and beard put together i swear. I knew one of us was going to fuck her that night, so i thought. After a bit she jumps in the front and i begin to finger fuck the fuck out of her pussy with end driving reaching around rubbing her clit she was loving every minute. With my fingers being covered in pussy juices, i see sand just sitting all on the dashboard, wat a brilliant idea i think to myself, covering my hand in sand and shoving it back into her pussy repeating the filthy method more than several times. With my dick being hard i try and stick it in but there is just way to much hair, sand and tightness.
We get back to the beach and she wants to be dropped back to her campsite. We tell her we can do that for her and with her looking out the window minutes later saying "stop thats my campsite" ned just cruises on past. About 3 minute drive later he stops and we tell her to get out, she tells us no and to take her back to her campsite. we tell her that this is her campsite and i tell her that "the only way ur getting us to drive u back is if u let me fuck u in the passenger seat infront of everybody" her telling me to get fucked, i kick her away from the door and slam it in her face and she tries to get back in the car through alisters window and with Alister pushing her away we drive off, leaving the poor mess to walk back a good 20 minutes.
Back at the cabin and with ghosts scaring the shit out of us im in bed with nikki (my gf at the time) after thoroughly washing my fingers I make up lies to her about why i wasn't paying attention to her the whole day cause she wasnt to impressed with my actions as she describes it. I convince her like always and i slam her smelly vagina. What a fantastic weekend away, i nearly done 3 girls in less than 24 hours!!!!!
Closing time came and i didnt have a girl with me walking out those doors. In my last desperate attempt and with ned gone to the city i stayed around the car park praying like a pedafile in a playground, Looking and searching for the right victim. When i thought it was time to head off home un-succesfully, i saw a girl called nay waiting for a cab. I walked up to her and said "hey, where are u goin now" with her reply being "home" i say "oh i didnt kno i was coming aswell" and she replys to me with a "okay then jump in" i was STOKED not to be going home to do work on myself. I get back to her house and we do the deed. In the morning she drops me back at home.
So i get home and me and ned are ready to go catch our barge for our wonderful weekend at Moreton Island. We arrive over there in the arvo and with everyone sinking piss like its water and my gf at the time being a fuckhead like always, i dont pay much attention to her the whole time.
Night fall comes and were on the beach drinking around the fire and then the girls are whinging and complaining, so them and moses decide to go back to the cabin for a boring night in. With the girls gone, its really time to step up the drinking. Us boys are begining to get loose when i spot somthing stumbling along the waters edge. Driving past it to see wat it was. It was a lady, a lady in her mid 20's druuuunk as can be (PERFECT) we go see if shes all right and we tell her to jump in and join the fun were having, we hand over a drink to get her more smashed.
Were back at the fire and out of nowhere she tells us that we are boring. Boring u say were nothing but boring we tell her. With us saying lets get naked she then says alright and strips off to nothing but her undies, us boys all strip off and the fun begins with her giving us all our own personal lap dance.
After about 10 minutes of lap dances she runs off to the water for a bit of a dip, with me and Alister following her. Jimmy and ned are back at the fire and the mad cunts hide her clothes. We all decide its time for a drive and we get dressed and with her complaining she cant find her clothes we give her a shirt to wear. We're all in the car and i ask jed we're her clothes? He tells me that jimmy chucked them on the fire. The second i look at the fire the flames triple in size.
On our drive around the Island she tries to get with everybody and with her taking most liking to Alister, we drop them off and tell him we will be back in 5 minutes. 2 minutes later and we have high beams on them in the middle of the beach. With alisters cock being the size of 2 normal peoples and sand on her vagina there was no way he was getting in. In the car and we're once again driving along with her grabbing Jimmy's, mine and ned's hands rubbing them against her hairy smelly pussy. The hair was worst than cheezy's gut and beard put together i swear. I knew one of us was going to fuck her that night, so i thought. After a bit she jumps in the front and i begin to finger fuck the fuck out of her pussy with end driving reaching around rubbing her clit she was loving every minute. With my fingers being covered in pussy juices, i see sand just sitting all on the dashboard, wat a brilliant idea i think to myself, covering my hand in sand and shoving it back into her pussy repeating the filthy method more than several times. With my dick being hard i try and stick it in but there is just way to much hair, sand and tightness.
We get back to the beach and she wants to be dropped back to her campsite. We tell her we can do that for her and with her looking out the window minutes later saying "stop thats my campsite" ned just cruises on past. About 3 minute drive later he stops and we tell her to get out, she tells us no and to take her back to her campsite. we tell her that this is her campsite and i tell her that "the only way ur getting us to drive u back is if u let me fuck u in the passenger seat infront of everybody" her telling me to get fucked, i kick her away from the door and slam it in her face and she tries to get back in the car through alisters window and with Alister pushing her away we drive off, leaving the poor mess to walk back a good 20 minutes.
Back at the cabin and with ghosts scaring the shit out of us im in bed with nikki (my gf at the time) after thoroughly washing my fingers I make up lies to her about why i wasn't paying attention to her the whole day cause she wasnt to impressed with my actions as she describes it. I convince her like always and i slam her smelly vagina. What a fantastic weekend away, i nearly done 3 girls in less than 24 hours!!!!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Beerwah Skatepark
So i'm guessing Beerwah is getting re-built and it looks pretty much the same but with a few more changes which should make it alot more fun, i hope they still put a shade cloth above it
http://www.qr.com.au/SEQIP/Images/SEQ2440_BeerwahSkatepark_Poster3updated_tcm30-25971.pdf
http://www.qr.com.au/SEQIP/Images/SEQ2440_BeerwahSkatepark_Poster3updated_tcm30-25971.pdf
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Triple J Production
It's a friday night and im only 17 and ready to get wasted me ned and Jimmy are heading off to a party somewhere in bracken ridge. While walking to the party me and ned make a promise that NO MATTER WAT we are bringing home girls tonight.
So after being at the party for a while we notice that there isnt that many good looking girls but that changes with every drink we sink. Everybody is starting to leave the party after a big fight breaks out (no it wasnt ned who started the fight) and as a last resort i ask Jess (the girl who threw the party) if she wanted to come back to mine for a bit of fun and to my suprise she says yeah alright.
On our way home we talk about 3somes to her and she seems kinda interested in having one. Couple of minutes later ned gets a phone call from his ex Zoe and she is horny and wanting dick inside her immediatly.Now both me and jed are excited cause we have now suceeded in our little pact we made earlier. On the way home i whisper to jamie that "when we get home set up my video camera were jess cant see and we will record this shit".
Finally making it back to my house jamie does exactly what i told him and next thing u kno its Lights, Camera, Action. With ned upstairs getting into Zoe and me and Jimmy downstairs in my bed with Jess, we begin the start of what will become one of the most amazing stories i have to this date. Jimmy starts to play with her big tits and i begin to rub her festering axe wound, after a bit we swap and my dick is nice and hard ready for her to devour it in her mouth. As she begins this Jimmy says "I will be back in a second" after a few minutes someone comes down and they get in the bed. I see that it is ned and not Jimmy who has returned and without Jess even knowing the old switcharoo we begin what has already started. I get my end in and start slamming away and as ned is kissing her she says wohh ur kisses are heaps different now Jimmy, with ned not saying a word Jess repetively says Jimmy, still to which comes no reply.
After that she realises that its not Jimmy anymore and that it's now ned, she doesn't mind and i get back to machining away. After running out of breathe ned trys to give her a go but cant get it hard as he has already blown a load all over Zoe. Jimmy tries to sneak down to grab the camera so he can get a better angle. As he is doing this Jess spots him and we think that its going to be all over. After telling her that it was off and he was down here to show us somthing on the camera, we ask her if she would mind being filmed and with a excellent reply of "no not at all as long as u dont film my pussy" we are all very excited. With Jimmy sitting at the end of the bed getting great angles and myself getting worn out, ned try's to have another go but cant get it hard so he decides to leave it all up to me.
With both of them sitting on chairs at the end of the bed enjoying the show getting great angles and me making her scream louder than wat she would if she was getting raped, this was going to be 1 hell of a video. Awhile goes by and i feel somthing hit my leg, i look down and its a bloody Sambuca bottle and it's heading straight into her pink canoe. She doesnt realise wat has just happened and says "what the hell was that" the 3 of us look at each other and burst into laughter.
Atlest 45 minutes go past ive had enough and there is no way this girls is going to make me release my special cock sauce, so i get her up and begin my way to the top with my own hand. I grab her head and her mouth sticks to my cock like a hoover vacuam blowing a load deep down her throat. The job is finally finished and Jimmy and ned are sitting there finishing off there box of bbq shapes as if they where at the movies.
Us not wanting her to stick around any longer we tell her that she cant stay any longer cause mum and dad are due back home early morning. With her walking out the door at 4 in the morning we are all excited to play back and watch what we have just filmed. I cant wait to make another Triple J Production haha
So after being at the party for a while we notice that there isnt that many good looking girls but that changes with every drink we sink. Everybody is starting to leave the party after a big fight breaks out (no it wasnt ned who started the fight) and as a last resort i ask Jess (the girl who threw the party) if she wanted to come back to mine for a bit of fun and to my suprise she says yeah alright.
On our way home we talk about 3somes to her and she seems kinda interested in having one. Couple of minutes later ned gets a phone call from his ex Zoe and she is horny and wanting dick inside her immediatly.Now both me and jed are excited cause we have now suceeded in our little pact we made earlier. On the way home i whisper to jamie that "when we get home set up my video camera were jess cant see and we will record this shit".
Finally making it back to my house jamie does exactly what i told him and next thing u kno its Lights, Camera, Action. With ned upstairs getting into Zoe and me and Jimmy downstairs in my bed with Jess, we begin the start of what will become one of the most amazing stories i have to this date. Jimmy starts to play with her big tits and i begin to rub her festering axe wound, after a bit we swap and my dick is nice and hard ready for her to devour it in her mouth. As she begins this Jimmy says "I will be back in a second" after a few minutes someone comes down and they get in the bed. I see that it is ned and not Jimmy who has returned and without Jess even knowing the old switcharoo we begin what has already started. I get my end in and start slamming away and as ned is kissing her she says wohh ur kisses are heaps different now Jimmy, with ned not saying a word Jess repetively says Jimmy, still to which comes no reply.
After that she realises that its not Jimmy anymore and that it's now ned, she doesn't mind and i get back to machining away. After running out of breathe ned trys to give her a go but cant get it hard as he has already blown a load all over Zoe. Jimmy tries to sneak down to grab the camera so he can get a better angle. As he is doing this Jess spots him and we think that its going to be all over. After telling her that it was off and he was down here to show us somthing on the camera, we ask her if she would mind being filmed and with a excellent reply of "no not at all as long as u dont film my pussy" we are all very excited. With Jimmy sitting at the end of the bed getting great angles and myself getting worn out, ned try's to have another go but cant get it hard so he decides to leave it all up to me.
With both of them sitting on chairs at the end of the bed enjoying the show getting great angles and me making her scream louder than wat she would if she was getting raped, this was going to be 1 hell of a video. Awhile goes by and i feel somthing hit my leg, i look down and its a bloody Sambuca bottle and it's heading straight into her pink canoe. She doesnt realise wat has just happened and says "what the hell was that" the 3 of us look at each other and burst into laughter.
Atlest 45 minutes go past ive had enough and there is no way this girls is going to make me release my special cock sauce, so i get her up and begin my way to the top with my own hand. I grab her head and her mouth sticks to my cock like a hoover vacuam blowing a load deep down her throat. The job is finally finished and Jimmy and ned are sitting there finishing off there box of bbq shapes as if they where at the movies.
Us not wanting her to stick around any longer we tell her that she cant stay any longer cause mum and dad are due back home early morning. With her walking out the door at 4 in the morning we are all excited to play back and watch what we have just filmed. I cant wait to make another Triple J Production haha
Monday, February 2, 2009
Bmx Games 2008
So i was down in Sydney and its the night off the after party which ive been looking forward to this whole trip, its pretty much the reason why so many people go to this event cause the after party's are sooo good and theres nothing better than getting loose with a whole bunch of ur mates that u hardly see.
The after party is at Q-BAR in the city somewhere and as soon as i walk in the doors i make chat with the bar tender and she told me if i wanted drinks i should go to her. With that in mind and free beer, yaga bombs and a pocket full of cash i knew this night was going to be amazing. That same bar tender is pouring my drinks 90% full of vodka and only 10% of orange juice and i was getting wasted real quick.
About half way through the night we are allowed in the v.i.p area were it was only bmxer's allowed. So the next thing i kno i'm taking a girl in there and into the corner at the back. When im drunk i can make up really good lies towards girls to get watever i want haha. After telling her multiple lies, i am making out with her and grabbing her big tits. After a while of doing this i get my dick out and she says "wat are u doing" I tell her that its ok and u that u should suck it right now. After about 10 seconds of convincing her we wont get caught she throws it straight into her mouth and its possibly one of the best headjobs ive ever gotten.
A few minutes go past and i can hear someone coming and in my head im thinking please be a bmxer so they could see, but it wasnt a bmxer it was a security guard and as soon as he saw us i pulled my pants up and say " sorry bro ill go get a drink at the bar if u want". He reply's to me that it's ok and alot of people do this were we are and asks if it's ok if he can watch for a bit. I tell him fuck yeah and make the girl give him a kiss on the cheek just to make him feel better and as soon as she kissed him she is straight back down sucking away like a pro. Another few minutes go buy and the security guard goes away and i start sticking my fingers inside her pussy vigorously. Getting bored with just fingering her i try to stick my finger in her ass with her telling me "no please dont do that" I tell her to shutup and it will feel good and i just push it straight in there with her trying to pull my arm away. This lasted about 1 minute if that and i stand up and spread her legs getting ready to get inside her. With my dick about 5cm away from her pussy she asks if i have a condom and i say nah i dont need that shit. Her not being to happy with that reply she says no and that then made me a bit angry, so i say okay and grab her hair and force her head back onto my dick and after a while she gets shitter and shitter and i get up and walk away.
I have no idea were i went or wat happened after that but i didnt see her again the whole night. Its about 2 oclock and cheezy comes up to me saying come on we have to go, me still in party mode and loving this bar/club I tell him nah its good ill find my own way home.
Around 4 in the morning i find another girl which i take her to the same spot where i took the first one and after telling her some lies she is also sucking away on my dick. This went on until the sun came up and with only $10 in my pocket, phone dead and not knowing were the hell i was i walk to hungry jacks to get some food and try and get the hell out of there and back to homebush. Somehow finding the train station im on a train back to the hotel. On the train and tired as hell im slowly drifting off to sleep and with only 2 stations before i have to get off I wake up and im past my stop. i get off and back onto another train and again i wake up past my stop. Back on another train and finally i'm on the right station and on the link train which just runs from olympic park back to the normal line. With the train empty im laying down and i've dozed off to sleep 2 hours and 15 minutes later i wake up and at olympic park. I get off and head back to my hotel ready to get the day stated again. Now thats a night out that i will never ever forget.
The after party is at Q-BAR in the city somewhere and as soon as i walk in the doors i make chat with the bar tender and she told me if i wanted drinks i should go to her. With that in mind and free beer, yaga bombs and a pocket full of cash i knew this night was going to be amazing. That same bar tender is pouring my drinks 90% full of vodka and only 10% of orange juice and i was getting wasted real quick.
About half way through the night we are allowed in the v.i.p area were it was only bmxer's allowed. So the next thing i kno i'm taking a girl in there and into the corner at the back. When im drunk i can make up really good lies towards girls to get watever i want haha. After telling her multiple lies, i am making out with her and grabbing her big tits. After a while of doing this i get my dick out and she says "wat are u doing" I tell her that its ok and u that u should suck it right now. After about 10 seconds of convincing her we wont get caught she throws it straight into her mouth and its possibly one of the best headjobs ive ever gotten.
A few minutes go past and i can hear someone coming and in my head im thinking please be a bmxer so they could see, but it wasnt a bmxer it was a security guard and as soon as he saw us i pulled my pants up and say " sorry bro ill go get a drink at the bar if u want". He reply's to me that it's ok and alot of people do this were we are and asks if it's ok if he can watch for a bit. I tell him fuck yeah and make the girl give him a kiss on the cheek just to make him feel better and as soon as she kissed him she is straight back down sucking away like a pro. Another few minutes go buy and the security guard goes away and i start sticking my fingers inside her pussy vigorously. Getting bored with just fingering her i try to stick my finger in her ass with her telling me "no please dont do that" I tell her to shutup and it will feel good and i just push it straight in there with her trying to pull my arm away. This lasted about 1 minute if that and i stand up and spread her legs getting ready to get inside her. With my dick about 5cm away from her pussy she asks if i have a condom and i say nah i dont need that shit. Her not being to happy with that reply she says no and that then made me a bit angry, so i say okay and grab her hair and force her head back onto my dick and after a while she gets shitter and shitter and i get up and walk away.
I have no idea were i went or wat happened after that but i didnt see her again the whole night. Its about 2 oclock and cheezy comes up to me saying come on we have to go, me still in party mode and loving this bar/club I tell him nah its good ill find my own way home.
Around 4 in the morning i find another girl which i take her to the same spot where i took the first one and after telling her some lies she is also sucking away on my dick. This went on until the sun came up and with only $10 in my pocket, phone dead and not knowing were the hell i was i walk to hungry jacks to get some food and try and get the hell out of there and back to homebush. Somehow finding the train station im on a train back to the hotel. On the train and tired as hell im slowly drifting off to sleep and with only 2 stations before i have to get off I wake up and im past my stop. i get off and back onto another train and again i wake up past my stop. Back on another train and finally i'm on the right station and on the link train which just runs from olympic park back to the normal line. With the train empty im laying down and i've dozed off to sleep 2 hours and 15 minutes later i wake up and at olympic park. I get off and head back to my hotel ready to get the day stated again. Now thats a night out that i will never ever forget.
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